at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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