4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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