no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
