Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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