We named our party play list daddy issues
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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