Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
