I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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