I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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