I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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