..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
