SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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