guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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