ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
