we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
