She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
