you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
