Porn is love you can see.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
