do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
