going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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