you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
