he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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