UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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