i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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