what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
