Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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