I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
