Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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