If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
