I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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