So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
