Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
