Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I love having hate sex.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
