oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He? As in you personified your dick?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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