Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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