omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
