I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
