Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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