people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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