my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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