Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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