I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
