Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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