Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
