sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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