Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
