someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize