If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize