you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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