So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
