He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
