My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
