lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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