My room smells like vodka and shame
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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