Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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