You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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