ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
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Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am