marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.