Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.