I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
