**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
