This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
