I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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