She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
