Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
time to smoke my breakfast
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
